Friday, 19 August 2016

Destiny...

You dream of the wonderful years. The magic which life seems to hide in its hand behind the back and you look into its eyes curiously like a child, with the faith, that soon it will unveil its wonders for you.

But who are you to decide it? One day the destiny engulfs you. Unexpectedly. Abruptly. You struggle for a while to break free, to go to the place; you know you will be free; only to find that such place no more exists. You strive for the way out. You bang on each door you know. You cry. You shout. You curse and then, you stop doing anything. Your silence mocks at you, for you don't even realise that something inside you died. You stop living. You stop loving, for you know people around you either hate you or are indifferent about your existence. You start questioning your values, your thoughts and even your faith! You realise you are being used. You see yourself diminishing to a person you hate. You suffocate yourself, kill your self-esteem for the people who don't even love you. You start feeling helpless. You stop reading because suddenly the fictional world makes you more gloomy and sad, for you now know that it’s too good to be true.

Once in a while you see yourself and the vulnerability scares the guts out of you. You hate to see the person you have become so you take the easy way out. You just breathe. You just exist. You stop introspecting. You stop thinking like you once loved to. For hours. You fall into the void where you can’t see your darkness, the insecurities surrounding you lately, the hatred you see in people's eyes.

And you survive! Really.